It’s Not Worth Sharing Your Feelings With Those Who Refuse to Accept Their Validity
Anyone who knows the exhaustion of trying to have your voice heard can see the title and immediately know what this article is about. I rather not lose my voice anymore, but use writing as a means of expression and a megaphone. With that being said my friends, I mean exactly what I say when your feelings are more valuable than the way those close to you treat them as nothing. When you are painted as over emotional and ungrateful for standing up to being a punching bag, let it be known that maybe it’s better to not say anything at all. I cannot even believe I am at this point because being true to my emotions and feelings in every relationship is everything to me; lately, my energy is best spent elsewhere.
Need an example of what I mean by “refusing to accept their validity”? Imagine telling someone who you love from the bottom of your core that they constantly hurt you by their repetitive actions against you only to be told to “stop victimizing yourself and acting like a baby”. Try and visualize your constant process of self evolution through learning from your mistakes, and righting them only to face your true love and role model as static and defensive at all costs. If you are blessed enough to be in healthy relationships, then stop visualizing it now so you do not have to feel the pain and confusion of those like myself who face this every day. Sometimes, it becomes truly unbearable.
One could be reading this article and see it as coming from a victim perspective, as if the world is out to get me, but that is wrong. I am responsible for my own actions as an adult and a piece of society, but I also deserve respect and regard for my emotions if I give it right back as expected. Treat people the way you want to be treated, yeah? Well, pain comes from a valid source and sometimes it stays an open wound when you are constantly treating those as you’d like returned but receiving empty apologies and no recognition whatsoever. That is emotional abuse at its finest, and if sharing your pain becomes one’s ammunition, then its time to stop sharing anything at all.
I am an advocate for vulnerability and raw expression that can both come from naked sources within yourself, but at what expense is it worth to share with a wall? Communication is said to be one of the most important glues that cement together a vital relationship. However, you cannot glue two pieces as one if there is one side that refuses to stick to the other. In other words, emotionally sensitive and vulnerable people like myself have to drop our expectations of those we love, and accept the reality: your feelings do not matter to them.
Yet, on the contrary, they could matter but one’s capability of handling the weight of yours might just be little to non-existent. From my experience, I am constantly talking about my feelings because that is how I relieve myself and try to better my relationships. Could you imagine holding in a poop for three days so not to inconvenience everyone with a stench left in the bathroom? Nothing but wreckage and harm would be done to your body and colon and you would regret the consequences. Personally, I refuse to be emotionally constipated. Silence just doesn’t speak to me as much as it does to Simon and Garfunkel.
I am truly at a point in my life where my voice has gone hoarse trying to explain where my actions come from and how I feel only to be told to stop “acting like a baby”. Sharing ones deepest, personal pain and feelings with a loved one is something that is of value, and I refuse to let my value drop to the lowest of standards. When someone tells you to stop victimizing yourself when you’re simply calling them out on their behavior that destroys your insides, beware that they are not capable of knowing your truth and value as a human being. At that point, it’s better to express them in ways that benefit your state of mind and inner peace.
Rather than turning to drugs, alcohol, and whoring myself out, I choose to write because I know someone out there is feeling the exact same way. If you are that someone, please know you are worthy of a loving, kind relationship where you both share mutual respect and safety. Removing yourself from anything toxic is more for your benefit and overall peace that you deserve. This is not to say that we are perfect human beings, but us sensitive ones need learn to preserve our depth for the ones who can handle it, even if that is a stranger reading your blog post. Much love to each and every single one of you reading this and those writing on this amazing platform ❤